From Apathy to Paralysis

A youth ministry buddy of mine, Tyler Parsons, polled high school students in his youth ministry. These questions really got me a thinkin'. Here's what Tyler found out...

Things we’ve heard/read/been taught but not sure we believe them or questions we have:
-All the stories (i.e. Jonah, Daniel, Noah, Moses) – did all that stuff actually happen or are they just illustrations?
-“Baldy” and the bears – 2 Kings 2 when bears maul the youth…God wouldn’t do that.
-If Jesus turned water to wine and gave sight to the blind why doesn’t that stuff happen anymore?
-Another student commented: maybe it does happen just works differently now…(i.e. doctors/medicine/etc.)
-Predestination…?
-Can God be surprised?
-Why do we pray? Does it make any difference?
-If God is love, is love God?
-KJV…? Why all the different versions/translations of the Bible?
-Weren’t some things lost or misunderstood in translation?
-Limbo…? Do people really believe that? Is it real? In the Bible?
-Genesis 1:26 – plural reference to God?
-How do we know which religion or denomination is right? How can we know that we are?
-Does the Bible change over time?
-Tattoos & Piercings
-Women with long hair/short hair?
-Jesus drank wine, why do Christians say alcohol is bad?
-God and the problem of human suffering/evil
-Can a person have an addiction and still be a Christian?
-Why do some people get “cured” from their addictions and others don’t? are they “better” Christians?

These questions point out for me a new awareness.
I've always known that students have a lot of questions. That's healthy. But what I'm becoming more aware of is the number, intensity, and scope of their questions/doubts about God and the Bible. The questions from Tyler's group carry all kinds of assumptions about life, authority, and truth from all kinds of mental frameworks. These questions reveal sophistication. And not only that, its truly overwhelming to think of these questions as the tip of an iceberg of questions/doubts that students wonder about every week. Plus, these students' questions seem to convey elements of genuine doubt. Overwhelming!
I don't know about everyone else, but when I'm overwhelmed I become paralyzed. Maybe our students aren't apathetic. Maybe they are Spiritually PARALYZED! Paralysis looks a lot like Apathy. You don't see much movement in either case. But I think the treatment for Spiritual Paralysis might be more challenging.
With apathy, the student doesn't want to move. In the case of paralysis, the student might WANT to move forward spiritually, but she CAN'T.
So, I'll leave you with this question, if our students are paralyzed, how can we help them?

Could This Be True?

The Christian Science Monitor posted an article predicting the demise of Evangelical Christianity. One directive I gain from this article it that we need to be more Spirit-Directed and perhaps less "Strategy-Directed".
I'm curious to see what you think about the article: http://www.csmonitor.com/2009/0310/p09s01-coop.html
(sorry, for some reason blogspot wouldn't let me embed this link)

What Frustrates You About Youth Ministry?

I think the group of youth workers I meet with are awesome. We asked each other to respond to the question, "What frustrates you about Youth Ministry?" The answers revealed a group of young men who really care about kids and who get mad when kids aren't treated right.
What Frustrates Us...
Church board discussions where they talk about the thermostat in the gym rather than how we can reach the unchurched.
Getting a phone call before every event by the same parent asking, “What time is it?”
Kids who don’t come because they have a relational problem with other kids.
Loving a needy kid.
Parents’ bad influence of kids.
“Country Club Christians”.
Being without a senior pastor.
Church parents who tell daughter, “You’re at church too much.”
Sponsors who call 2 minutes before the event to say they won’t be there.
Parents who wrongly believe their kids are perfect.
I’ve been constipated for about 3 days.
Sr. high kids with no passion; bad attitudes.
Getting the leadership to listen to me.
Getting the parents to catch our vision.
When one kid doesn’t come and then the other kids don’t come because others don’t come.
Eighteen year old boys whose mothers do all the work for them.
Elders and deacons who don’t get on board.
Not being taken seriously by the elders.
Losing a large senior class.
Not feeling like I’ll ever thrive financially in ministry.
Not getting a mental break from ministry.
Leaving a church and find out that no one is caring for your youth group.

That's Why I Do It

Dozens of high school students were clustered in pairs and 3's and 4's with caring youth workers. I walked back and forth between the groups, praying, looking at the intensity of kids dealing with God, and, more importantly for me, filling my soul.
Thomas Young had challenged 900 students to come to Christ on Saturday night at the IMPACT conference. After a year of planning by our team we got to see the fruit. This is why I direct the IMPACT conference...

• A youth leader shared that 5 of his 15 students came to Christ at Impact. With a gleam in his eye, this volunteer leader said he will have to "reassess his youth curriculum for this coming semester" ( by the way, who wouldn't want a 30% conversion rate in their ministry?).
  
• A 16 year old girl followed up with me after my breakout seminar...she wants to stop cutting and burning herself. She wants to one day wear a wedding dress without scars showing.
• Something hit home with another girl in my breakout; she was in tears talking with a caring adult.
• Another kid shared with her leader her struggle with sexual identity issues.
• A junior is close to giving Christ his life.

I need to reassure myself more frequently, "This is why I do what I do."

What I Learned NOT to Do in Youth Ministry

Here are the results of an off the cuff survey of Youth Pastors.
What I learned NOT to do in Youth Ministry. I learned...

• Not to send 5 guys down a zip line in one harness.
• When re-enacting the crucifixion with a nail and hammer, don't assume the female volunteer will move her hand.
• No matter how responsible teens seem to be, don't leave them unsupervised.
• If guys go outside to make snow angels, make them wear shorts.
• Not to take myself too seriously.
• Not to gossip.
• That I should not back up on an interstate entrance ramp with a van load of teens.
• Not to read emails in the wrong place.
• Don't doubt the janitor dude.
• Jump at the same time onto the Blob.
• Don't let teens play the Salt Game that can send them to the emergency room.
• Not to interrupt parents before they tell their whole story.
• To be careful with what I tell my mother.
• Not to do the Birthday Spanking Gauntlet.
• To keep my mouth shut.
• To never shut off all the lights.
• Not to take the van load of teens to Hooters.
  

Media I've Run Across

I am so random...

A great time-waster is Facebook Lexicon. How many times do people mention a given word in a week on Facebook? Check out Facebook Lexicon. For upward trends type in Craigslist, or gas. For yearly cyclical trends enter depression, or Easter, or Bible study.

Cult of Sincerity is a full length secular indie movie about POMO; thoughtful, clever, witty, a prophetic message About 20-somethings, By 20-somethings, and To 20-somethings. ALL people from 15 to 30 yrs. old MUST watch this flick and discuss it! My 7-word review..."a critique of the post-modern ethos".

I can’t believe re-shaped 38^th Parallel is now The Ministry of Magic contributing to the wizard rock scene. I love ‘The Bravest Man I Ever Knew’. I get a buzz from these former youth group members (TLC! woot!). The great British accent by Mark Jennings gave me a flashback to his high school All-State Improvisation performance!

Spiritual Obfuscation: No Clear Way to Heaven

Scot McKnight, whom I deeply respect, posted a letter from a youth pastor who actually believes the Pomo drivel . He had no clear answer to an elder's simple question, "How do I get to Heaven?"
One question: What the HECK?

• What's wrong with just guiding a kid to any choice of dozens of passages regarding salvation and clearly telling him Repent and Believe?
• We've got enough confused teens. Why unnecessarily confuse them spiritually?
• What happened to the simplicity of childlike faith?

Scan the comments on McKnight's post and you'll see Tony Jones writing, "Tell him that 15 year olds don’t ask questions like that. And tell him that you won’t answer hypothetical questions. Then ask him if he’s projecting, and it’s actually *he* who wants to know how to get to heaven."
A sophomore guy prayed with me to receive Christ last Friday. I'm not naive enough to think that he understood everything. I don't know how much his will was bent toward Jesus. I don't know if he was 50% or 100% sincere. But I do know that if he genuinely repented and believed in Jesus he is heaven bound.
I care too much for kids to confuse them with what Jesus came to clarify.
By the way, if 15 year old kids aren't asking this question, they need to be. Their eternal destiny isn't something to screw around with.

"What Impacted You the Most?"

Wendi Swartz is one of our awesome youth ministry volunteers. Wendi emailed the following question of some former members of our youth ministry, "What impacted you the most going through our ministry?" Here are a few of the responses:

• I would say that the relationships have impacted me the most in our ministry; especially my small group. I've learned a lot through these but most importantly, I've had Christian fellowship and people who genuinely care about me and who I can be totally honest with. I don't think that there is anywhere else that I have been able to have that kind of experience - it has been so meaningful in my life. -- Maria
• The stories they told and the advice they gave. -- Chelsea
• The good fellowship and strong Christian friends. -- Joanna
• Challenge and mission trips impacted me the most. The fellowship built within the youth group impacted me the most. I like it when people share testimonies and create accountability relationships. -- Bonnie
• The thing that impacted me the most was probably the fellowship. There are a lot of youth groups out there that have good speakers and plenty of ideas for improvement but they lack the friendships and "hang out" time that seem to bring everything together. -- Evan
  
• I think just the way the leaders are so personal... and want to talk to me one on one. It really made an impact on me that they do care about where I am at spiritually and will help me in any way i need it. -- Kelsey
• The people. The leaders, my small group leaders, the teachers, the guys and girls in ministry team to look up to when younger, the community and friendships built, the leaders who would spend time to hang out with you over their same age friends. But even cooler is that all those people and relationships were centered around a common uniting Faith. So the people/relationships. Yep. -- Kyle
• The things that impacted me the most were my relationships with the leaders and other peers there. The other things that i found to be very important was the depth of the material being presented to me and the creativity of our youth group as a whole. -- Mike
• My small group leader, small group, missions trips. -- Bri
  

Bart Ehrman

You've got to download this video of the beginning minutes of Bart Ehrman's lecture at Stanford and show it to your church youth. I showed the video to our High School group this morning. They were stunned. Use it as a discussion starter. (use the free programs KeepVid and VLC media player).
If you go to your local bookstore's religion section you will certainly find a title by Bart Ehrman. Dr. Ehrman, Professor of Religious Studies of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, was a former floor-mate of mine at Moody Bible Institute. Now Bart seems to enjoy dissuading people from faith in God. Among his more popular works is Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why.
Biblical scholar Ben Witherington gives a recent review of Bart's most recent book, God's Problem.
William Lane Craig has a transcript of his debate with Bart.
You'll also see Bart on TV from time to time as the guest Biblical scholar who knows a lot of stuff.
I think he's popular, in part, because of his evangelical roots; having fallen from the faith. The press loves to do an 'in-your-face' to right wing Christians.
Oh...I thought 2 things were funny in the video:
1. The guy that introduces Bart calls him Dr. Ehrrmaan (pronouncing his name in with a German accent; we would have mocked him at MBI for that).
2. Bart has this wicked laugh when he tells the story of his class of Christian students.
How did Bart lose his faith? Maybe he got hung up on the problem of evil and his research into textual criticism sealed the deal. I don't know.
I didn't know Bart that well at Moody's even though his room was next to mine. He was super smart. I get sad when I think of him and his students and his future. I hope it's okay with him that I pray for him from time to time; wanting the best for him.

Beta Version of a Ministry and Evangelism Training Model (part 2)

Now, take these ideas (Service and Contribution) from my last post a step further. Consider Service and Contribution as root elements of a unifying approach for evangelism.
I think everyone is struggling with how to train students to evangelize other students. Our students can be easily labeled as intolerant when they talk about Jesus. Few of them feel effective. Some YP's are literally throwing the old methods out the window (see a great article Tossing Aside the Tract: Why Just About Everything I Learned About Evangelism is Wrong). But once we are tossing out the old models of evangelism as increasingly irrelevant, what do we replace them with? Like others, I've recognized this problem with traditional witnessing methods for years and I've fiddled with my evangelism training models; going so far as to use Brian McLaren's, More Ready Than You Realize (gasp!).
So, assuming that a student is first Living an authentic life in Christ; his next steps toward evangelism can be to Serve the needs of others and then to Contribute by ultimately giving them the message of the Good News.
But I'd like to add one more component. I've noticed that most effective evangelists in our ministry Invite others to our gatherings, and they usually Invite them to follow Jesus too. I don't think that an Invitation necessarily comes before or after any of the other three components of Live, Serve, Contribute So, I'll just throw it at the end.
Now I'll be playing with this 4-step model of evangelism: Live, Serve, Contribute, Invite.
Sonlife ministries' acronym of Live, Love, Lead sums this up too. But "Love" is too generic of a word to be useful. And "Lead" sounds manipulative.
Anyway...I'll be testing this out.

Beta Version of a Ministry and Evangelism Training Model (part 1)

A youth pastor comrade (Jim Newberry) recently told me that he refashioned his ministry team of students around the theme of "Contribution". He said that he wanted them to find ways to Contribute to the Kingdom work of Christ, by giving spiritual input to others, or by serving in the church nursery, or by leading a game for Jr. Highers...you get the idea.
I think 'Contribution' can be a sensible unifying theme and qualification for this important group of responsive students. By "unifying theme" I mean, "What one thing unifies this mismatched bundle of kids?" and, "Where do I want to lead them?" and, "How can I honor the leadership training examples of Jesus and Paul while also honoring the individuality of these willing teens?"
'Contribution' also sets a bar or standard that qualifies a student to be a member of our ministry team. This year I asked my ministry team students to take on at least one weekly ministry responsibility. I helped to place them based on their gifts. Most students want to Contribute but they don't feel they have the permission or empowerment to do so. Some are leading peer Bible studies. Others are mentoring middle schoolers. It's all good. Now when we gather we can discuss how their ministries are going and how they can sharpen them. They are a tad bit hungrier for ministry principles since they are actually doing ministry.
Add to this idea of Contribution some recent, but not too original, thinking of mine about Serving. I am convinced that our first spiritual inroads into peoples' hearts rest in simply proving we care for them by discovering their needs and Serving them, helping them. Henri Nouwen cracks this idea open in his FANTASTIC little books The Wounded Healer, In the Name of Jesus, among others.
The next step is to translate Serve and Contribute into an approach for evangelism. I'll split here and pick this up in my next post.

'Jott' it

I've enjoyed the the functionality and practicality of Jott. This FREE service allows me to call Jott on my cell phone and speak a message to myself or another designated recipient. Jott then transcribes my voice message and automatically sends the text to the designated email address; usually a reminder to myself. One of my possible recipients is my Blog. You may have seen my poorly worded post (through Jott) a few days ago. Actually, I'm even more amazed by their incredibly accurate voice recognition technology.
Speaking of Technology, I'm currently using Qwest DSL for my phone and ISP. I don't want to pay for cable TV so I haven't taken to plunge into a cable internet provider. I'd like a faster connection and I'm willing to give up my home phone land line. What works for you? Are there no competitors in this industry?

The Ungrateful Monkey

I wrote and read the following "children's story" for our Middle School students. They were a bit shocked by the ending.

The Ungrateful Monkey

Once upon a time there was a little monkey who lived in the jungle. The little monkey was so sad; he had only a few tattered clothes and there was very little to eat. All the other little monkeys could play, but this poor little monkey had a hurt leg. He couldn’t run or climb like all of the other little monkeys. All of the other little monkeys went to school but this little monkey had to stay home to find enough food to keep from getting too hungry.

One day as the little monkey was hunting for food, a giraffe came along. The giraffe said, “Say, little monkey, why are you so sad?” The little monkey cried and told the giraffe that he was so, so hungry.

“Well, said the giraffe, haven’t you noticed that the best fruit is at the top of the trees?”

“I can’t reach the tops of the trees,” said the little monkey, “I’m too short and my leg is hurt so I cannot climb.”

“Here, said the giraffe, “I’ll lift you high so that you can reach the tops of the trees.” So every day the giraffe came along and lifted the little monkey to the tops of the trees so that he wouldn’t be so hungry.

Some time later the little monkey was crying because he couldn’t play with the other children. He tried, but his leg had never healed and it hurt so bad. Along came a parrot and the parrot said, “Say little monkey, why are you so sad?”

The little monkey tearfully replied, “I hurt my leg and I cannot play with the other little monkeys and I can’t reach food without the giraffe.”

“Well, said the Parrot, “Us parrots get hurt all of the time and I know what will heal your leg.” So the parrot joined with all of his parrot friends and they gathered from all of the healing plants of the jungle. They mixed them up and bound them onto his leg.

The parrot said to the little monkey, “You keep this on your leg and it will heal very quickly.”

So in just a few days the little monkey was running and playing with all the other little monkeys. The little monkey no longer needed the giraffe.

Some time later the little monkey was crying because the other little monkeys had made fun of his tattered clothes. A beautiful Peacock came along and said, “Say little monkey, why are you so sad?”

The little monkey cried and told him he only had tattered clothes.

“Well”, said the peacock, “I will clothe you with the best of peacock feathers.”

So the little monkey was transformed. All the other little monkeys admired him for his feathery clothes.

The little monkey proudly strutted about in his beautiful new clothes; he ate everything he wanted and the little monkey could run faster than all the other little monkeys because of his strong legs.

One day the little monkey walked proudly past another little monkey who was crying. The little monkey said to the other little monkey, “Why are you so sad?”

The other little monkey sobbed, “I can’t reach the best fruit at the top of the trees and I’m hungry!”

The little monkey said to the other little monkey,” I have plenty of food to eat and I’m the strongest climber and the fastest runner. If you worked hard like me and if you had stronger and faster legs and if you dressed as beautifully as me then you would have plenty to eat.”

Then the little monkey walked off and left the other little monkey.

The Survey Says...

I asked a group of about 20 high school upperclassmen recently, "What brings about spiritual growth in your life?" Here are some of the answers:

• "I know that everything has a meaning and a purpose. God is taking me through life. Also I am encouraged when I hear others' testimonies of how God has been faithful to them.
• "When I persevere through trials; and those trials brought lessons.
• "Being around people and seeing their lifestyles.
• "When I can't trust others and have tough times with them I know God is with me.
• "When I'm going through dry times I know that God is always there. I measure my spiritual growth by my actions. Even though I'm dry, I'm growing spiritually.
• "The reality of spiritual warfare and how to love others better.
• "My small group; I rely on them.
• "When I have failed trials.

What are the common themes here? What main things spur spiritual growth in students?
1. Trials.
2. Bonds with other believers.

Questions I ask myself: How can my youth ministry programming better reflect students' processes of spiritual growth in these 2 key areas (of trials and relationships)?

My trusty side-kick Jonathan reminded me that these two components were mentioned in Duffy Robbins classic book , The Ministry of Nurture (first published in 1990!). It just so happens I'll see Duffy today!

Recharge Your Ministry Passion

The number one way to recharge your passion for ministry is to shed the to do lists, chuck the adminis-trivia and hang out with your students/people. Everyone in ministry knows that contacting students is the youth worker's fuel.
Without contacting, our teaching becomes stale and irrelevant, we lose sight of the big picture, our impact diminishes, and we lose empathy and patience for those we disciple.
Here's a pretty good article from Youth Specialties on contacting.
And here's an awesome group of guys who went with Jonathan and me to the Drake Relays. We ended up in the VIP tent and chowed on walking tacos and hot wing chicken strips; and we played some kind of movie title game. My car had a great discussion about God's goodness and the holocaust.

"Really...what makes swear words wrong?" she asked.

For those of you who don't know me well, I have a knack for starting a discussion with the obvious and ending it at an unsuspecting place. You think this post is about Swearing; but it's not.
A few of us were talking after Prime Time recently and one girl challenged us with the Question/Statement, "Really...what makes swear words wrong?" After a lively discussion trying to use Scripture to sort this out, no Biblical arguments made sense to this Christian girl. Perhaps out of desperation, I asked her what her goal for herself is. "What does she envision herself becoming?"
I tried to ease her embarrassment as she finally admitted that she had no idea what her future looks like. It dawned on me that we can easily coach or prod kids into a Christian lifestyle but unless that is integrated into their own preferred future, they'll never adopt it.
Another girl, a bright Russian exchange student, chimed in. She had almost given up trying to live the Christian way because, "No one can be perfect, so what's the point? And don't tell me it's for the 'glory of God'. How is God glorified by the death of children or the holocaust?" Then the first girl chimed in again, "And isn't life just God's big test to see what we'll do?" This discussion made me ask some questions...

1. How many other kids need a clearer future hope? The majority? Or is this a small minority?
   
2. How can I give kids a clearer picture of God's vision for His relationship with us and with His world? And how are His purposes best communicated to postmoderns?
   
3. If you have ideas or other questions that need to be asked about this, please comment.

Bible Abuse

One 80 year old veteran Baptist church-goer recently told me that “you can get the Bible to prove just about anything”. This statement was his justification to dismiss the Bible; because it is impossible to understand.

Judging by some of my recent 9th grade Bible Instruction Class students’ glazed expressions, I wonder if they think like this 80 year old. In fact, one of my steepest obstacles with each year’s Bible Instruction Class is to convince the students that studying the Bible is worth it.

But then, what does it mean that Bible study is "worth it”? Unfortunately, to some of us, the Bible is worth something because it is a Pepto-Bismol devotional crutch we use to salve our emotional upsets. Taken in this light, the Bible has value if it makes us feel better. Thus, we gut the Bible of its prescriptive content and moral directives.

I talked recently with a believer who kept searching his Bible and praying for peace before he made a wrong decision. He wanted encouragement from the Bible but not exhortation. His prayer could very well have been, “Lord, make me feel better about my disobedience toward you. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.”

So how do we get kids to want to move beyond Biblical illiteracy?

1. Pray for them.
2. Provide real life applications to increase the practical value of the Bible's message.
3. Your Ideas Welcome Here:

I Attended a Core Training Event

I've been to well over 100 youth worker training events. I've heard many more good trainers than bad, and The Core 2007, Helping Hurting Kids, ranked pretty darn high. Great content, great presenter (Dave Ambrose of Bridgeway Community Church). The Core omitted most of the nonsensical games and mixers, but included relevant video clips and edgy examples.
The subject matter shifted seamlessly through Understanding Hidden Hurts (session 1), Critical Skills for Tackling the Tough Stuff (session 2) and Successful Response Strategies (session 3).
I lifted some of this stuff as a teaser:

• Do you need an effective strategy for responding to a hurting kid? Listen, Invest, Validate, Explore (LIVE).
• What must a kid-helper keep in mind when helping a hurting kid? Confidentiality, Enlist Help, Mandatory Reporting, Don't be Stupid.
• The Core recommends some online resources: Celebrate Recovery, Be Broken Ministries, RSA Ministries, National Eating Disorders, Mirror Mirror, Help Guide, To Write Love On Her Arms, National Self-Harm Network, Self-Injury, Abuse & Trauma Resource Directory, Teen Health Center, Self-Injury Information and Support, American Association of Suicidology, Kristin Brooks Hope Center, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Middle Schoolers' Questions About Heaven

I spoke about Heaven at Main Event club recently at church. I overheard what the 8^th grade girls were discussing afterwards:

1. “There are still things that I want to do before I go to heaven.”

2. “I hope we play soccer in heaven.”

Even though I think my talk was pretty good (they paid attention), these girls' unanswered questions made me ask some questions of myself:

1. How could I have better addressed these girls' questions that I obviously left unanswered?
2. How can I better anticipate what questions my audience is asking?

Barna: Parenting Approach Determines Kids' Devotion to Christ.

We already know that parents really influence their kids' faith, but what I'm puzzling over is what are the Key approaches that parents employ that make or break their child's faith. Here's Barna's article.