I Stink at Some Things

Sue sent this blog link to me with some comments (below): http://www.techherding.com/2009/04/celebrate-what-you-suck-at/

"For far too long the Christian community fell into that ridiculous trap at yearly evaluation time by elders where the laser was focused on weaknesses under the guise that we are supposed to be "balanced". God never created us "balanced", i.e., with the potential to be good at everything.

"That's one big lie from the pit...we end up spending all our energy on things He created other people to shine at and only have time to function in a substandard way within our own strengths because we've run out of time to focus on improving our strengths. Did that make sense?"

It sure did! I married a great gal, huh?

Could This Be True?

The Christian Science Monitor posted an article predicting the demise of Evangelical Christianity. One directive I gain from this article it that we need to be more Spirit-Directed and perhaps less "Strategy-Directed".
I'm curious to see what you think about the article: http://www.csmonitor.com/2009/0310/p09s01-coop.html
(sorry, for some reason blogspot wouldn't let me embed this link)

Who is Fighting for Your Heart?

"How many of you have someone who is fighting for your heart?" Only a few raised their hands. There was an awkward silence.
This was a question I asked a group of high school students in a seminar I led at the Impact Conference. Although the response didn't surprise me, it did sadden me. For me, the group's response seemed to underscore their collective loneliness. At the time I wished I had a hundred arms to reach out and give each kid a hug.
How can we hope to walk through life in a meaningful way and never be able to point to someone who has chosen to be our strong ally?

Mark Your Turf with Meaning

Recently I moved from the off-site youth offices (aka, "Scranton") to the church (aka, "Corporate"). So I was faced with the decision of what to put on the walls of my office and on my bulletin board. I like to put up things that spur me on. Because I need visible reminders, I mark my 'turf' with meaningful items:

• A 35 year-old page from Our Daily Bread about not wasting time. My mom sent it to me when I was in college.
• My Open Water Diving Certificate.
• Two 20k, Dam to Dam, Race Numbers.
• My Personal Mission Statement.
• 10 Maxims that guided me in youth ministry.
• A quote from Thoreau that I copied from my daughter's bulletin board: "Drive a nail home and clinch it so faithfully that you can wake up in the night and think of your work with satisfaction."
• Sir Francis Drake's Prayer.
• Monthly Ministry "WINS" will be the next items going up on my wall.

I'd like to know how you mark your turf with meaning?

Embrace Ministry Sadness

When I signed up to do ministry I saw hope and promise for people who find Christ. What no one really told me was how much pain people suffer. And, coming from a healthy home, I couldn't project how much sadness I would carry for others...

• Ministry sadness is Jamie (I changed the name). At 19 years old, she had a 15 month old son whom she had to give up to foster care because she couldn't provide for him. The boy's dad lived with Jamie on her minimum wage, part time salary. Then, Jamie got pregnant again from a different guy. This guy then went to prison for who knows what. She was months along in her pregnancy and had no prenatal medical care. Still sleeping around.
  
• Ministry sadness is the freshman guy who has no one to care for him. He smells and has greasy hair because no one has trained him to take care of himself.
  
• Ministry sadness is the adult man in tears because of his financial failure.
• Ministry sadness is my frustration for so many who are unresponsive to Jesus, or who reject wisdom, or who are stuck.

How do you overcome ministry sadness?

1. Sometimes you just have to embrace the sadness. That is, cry.
2. I'm not designed to carry my ministry sadness alone. And sharing it with others doesn't really relieve it. Only the Comforter's shoulders are broad enough to bear ministry sadness. Only Jesus shed tears of blood.
3. Remember, we hurt a lot when we care a lot.
   

What gives you ministry sadness? How do you overcome ministry sadness?

Stuck?

After watching this popular video I thought...

• What am I expecting others to do for me that I'm unwilling to do for myself?
• What makes it more appealing to me to remain where I am rather than to move ahead? What gratification do I gain from staying put?
• Who am I blaming for my current status?
• How do I convey my expectations onto others?
  

See You Whole in Heaven, Christopher

While Christopher was in his mother's tummy she got a virus. We don't know why, but at that crucial stage Christopher's brain didn't form right. Today, not too long after 24 years of speechlessness, sightlessness, and too many other limitations, we celebrated Christopher's wholeness at his memorial service. I was honored today to bless his caregivers and his parents, Denny and Deb. One lesson I've been learning lately: the closer we get to human need, the closer we get to Jesus. "Then the King will answer, 'I tell you the truth, anything you did for even the least of my people here, you also did for me.' Matthew 25:40 (NCV)

And...my daughter Shannon is 24. She was born a couple of months after Christopher. Shannon's serving Jesus and growing in life in Iowa City. I'm humbled, puzzled, glad, and sad.

Oh...and I do so wish that Denny could have fulfilled his dream to study Greek with his firstborn son. Maybe someday...

Birthday Card for Dad

St. Patrick's Day is my dad's birthday. It's relatively easy to pick out a meaningful card for dad.
Is it as easy for others to pick out a card for me? Maybe that's why I have to remind everyone of my Birthday!? hmmm.
Happy Birthday, Pops.

"Don't Let Someone Rent Space in Your Head"

I met a dear African American brother, and new pastor/friend Ed, at a meeting last week in San Antonio. As we were killing time on the river walk and the Alamo, we found that we needed directions back to the van. Ed walked over to one of San Antonio's "finest" police officers to get directions. As we headed off toward the van, Ed casually mentioned to me that the officer had made a snide remark laced with racist overtones. After curtly giving Ed his directions, the officer asked snottily, "Anything Else?"
Now, if an officer would say that to me, a white guy, I would dismiss him as a jerk. But when the same thing is said in Texas to a person of color, he's a racist jerk at best. I wanted to go back and insert that guy's night stick...
Before I get too cranked up about this, you need to know that Ed was very cool about it. He shared his encounter with me more out of surprise than spite. As you can imagine, this episode launched me into asking a ton of questions about Ed's feelings and how commonly this occurs, etc.
I asked Ed, "How do you keep things like that from getting to you. Ed's reply was, "I tell my people (in my congregation) 'Don't let people rent space in your head."
Who "rents space" in your head? Why don't you give them an eviction notice?

C'mon Already, It's Only a Vacation!

I started writing this in the middle of the night to my kids, but I thought I would share it with my one or two blog readers as well.

Hi Family,
I know that we don’t have to explain ourselves to you, but something has plagued me about our trip to Hawaii.
Bottom line, for months I had been hoping for an extended sabbatical from church but the search process for the new youth guy wasn’t letting that happen. So we reassessed and took the long vacation instead. I got permission to get away for 3 weeks. With the cheaper airfares we got, we felt that we both could use the emotional break from the load of ministry and to have the chance to re-calibrate. The downside of using vacation time and resources for this was that we couldn’t include you kids with us. Aligning all of our schedules was also a big barrier to making something like this work for all of us.
Yes, I know each of you would say that mom and I don’t need to have all of our vacation plans work around you all. But on the other hand, stretching the proverb, “Better is a little where there is love than eating steaks where there is strife.” We didn’t have strife on our vacation, but we did have plenty of “steaks” that could have been richer with you to enjoy them with us. Frequently, mom and I would say things like, “Wouldn’t it be hilarious to watch Kyle break into an imitation of the hula dancers?” or, “Shannon would probably say this about now, and it would crack us up.” Or, Megan would love to be in NATURE like this.” Sharing experiences bonds people. I want more shared experiences with you.
Also, my gift of Thomas Welsh-ness made it hard to spend money like we did. We were frugal to a point, but Hawaii isn’t a cheap vacation destination. Yes, we’ve saved for something like this for 10 years and we have the empty-nest freedom to go and do things. Again, I wouldn’t trade our experiences for the world, but I am led by God and conscience to balance the money we spent on ourselves with a more earnest resolve not to make self-directed spending a habit or a focus. I really did return, thinking about the poor more and how empty it would be to have lots of money to simply spend on oneself to accumulate experiences for oneself. This self-orientation simply amplifies the loneliness we try to conceal with money. I’m reminded of how easy it is to plan out our future self-indulgences so that we always have something to look forward to that will hopefully bring some relief to our drab, wintry drudgery.
The dozens (hundreds?) of tents of homeless people on the beach 15 minutes away from one of the world's most luxurious resorts has etched itself into my mind. We found that our resort management won’t refer its guests to any business that would cause people to drive past these homeless encampments. This is understandable from a business image perspective, but it’s really sad to me.

You might think, why is Dad so evaluative about a vacation? Can’t he just enjoy a time away? Yes I can and I did. I just wanted each of you to have a glimpse into my soul. I hope you’re not sick of these Proverbs, but here’s one that started me on this rant:

Proverbs 15:21 (NASB)

Folly is joy to him who lacks sense,

But a man of understanding walks straight.

My Paraphrase:

Screwing around and random activities make the fool happy;

But even the recreation of the wise is purposeful and yields good results.

God and the Oceans

Sue and I are on vacation near the ocean. As Iowans, being near the ocean gives us a fresher look at God. Over the past few days I've been beat up by the surf and I've sat, watching and listening to the pounding of the waves. So, I was led to ask, "What does the ocean tell me about Us and God?"

• When depressed, picture yourself tossed about in the fury of His love; like being thrashed by the waves of the ocean (Psalm 42).
• God is mightier than the breakers of the sea (Psalm 93).
• He treads on the ocean waves (Job 9).
• Fear God who sets limits for the seas (Job 38).
• God stirs the sea and calms the sea (Psalm 107).

Here’s my take on the meaning of the oceans in scripture:

The seas represent, to a certain extent, chaos and damage. The seas are somewhat mysterious and hold frightening creatures. The oceans are overwhelming, unpredictable, and untamed. Their brute force is apparent and their power can be unleashed or calmed in an instant. There is nothing that I know of in the Bible that depicts the ocean as a place of opportunity or peace. The oceans evoke feelings of fear and danger.

Even the sounds of the breakers of the ocean speak a mysterious spirit-language of their own; calling to one another (deep calls to deep). Waterfalls echo this chorus. I suspect that the ancient mind would understand these passages as more than simply a personification of nature.

God’s control of the boundaries of the seas is a recurring theme. Even the Genesis epic tells about God establishing the boundaries of the sky and earth and water. But during the great flood, God allowed the waters to breach those boundaries and they overwhelmed creation with their destructive power.

But the Lord is a God who no longer will allow the chaos of the oceans to encroach upon the earth. God holds the ocean in check, protecting man from its turmoil.

Now, transport this ocean motif into the accounts of Jesus who stilled the waves, walked on the sea, found a coin in a fish’s mouth, and commanded a large catch of fish. In the OT it was God Himself who tread on the ocean waves. God alone could still the chaos of the ocean with a whisper, He mastered the creatures of the ocean.

Questions:

1. Could the instance of Jesus teaching while calmly seated in a boat tell us something about His command over creation?
2. Why would Jesus teach the parable of the soils from a boat? All of the synoptic accounts record it this way.

Dumpster Divers

We had a small group question last Wednesday night at Prime Time that stalled discussion, "Why is it that Christian students vow that they would never ever get a divorce, or commit adultery, or get addicted to alcohol or drugs, etc.; but, in 20 years many of these same people are etched with defeat. What do you think would keep you from being a statistic like so many?"
My short response to my own question relates to our neediness. What if I were to tell you that I could have you eating out of a dumpster in 5 days? I would simply starve you. If we are hungry enough, I think most of us would eat almost anything.
So, one answer to the above question is that we should keep Full. We should become acutely aware of the smallest of pangs in our own soul. We should be desperately earnest to seek the filling of God's Holy Spirit through the Word and Prayer. Likewise, we should be filled by filling others.
I'm reminded of the last half of the Prayer of St. Francis:

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Still kind of amazed.

Thanksgiving week started as we picked up Shannon from the DSM airport. She had a great time during her brief stint with the state department in Belgium. On Wednesday, we successfully connected with our Russian friends Anton and Natalia at the DSM airport for an icy trip to KC. They had thoroughly enjoyed a sun-soaked trip to Disneyworld.
NON-traditional foods accented our traditional American Thanksgiving feast. Guests from India, Alston and Rosalyn, provided Palak Paneer (cooked spinach with chunks of tofu). Natalia cooked up some Russian Borsch (even though we couldn't find fresh beets!) and spread Ekra (orange salmon eggs or caviar) on buttered bread.
My brother's wife decided to call my nephew Brady using Skype. He was sitting shirtless and shortless beside Lake Malawi in Mozambique.
I love this smaller world. I'm still kind of amazed.

Suspended: The Role of Tension; part 2

Throughout our lives we live in the tension between what was, what is and what is to come. Circumstances present tension, but what about God producing tension? What is the role of tension in the walk of the believer? Does tension produce awareness? Or motivation? Or passion? Or does this tension make us want to walk away?

We need to make sure that the “pull” from the “will be” is greater than the drag from the “once was” and “still is”. How do we add greater weight (pull) to the “will be”?

Buried in the present is the foretaste, the pledge, for what is to come. Seeds of the future reality are imbeded in the believer’s soul.

The suspension between the 3 realities is uncomfortable at best. The sensitive heart cries out for resolution. But no amount of patience resolves the tension. To a greater or lesser degree, the tension is there, straining the soul. Stretching us. Reshaping our identities. Driving us to the realization that who we think we are is not certain or fixed. While struggling, our only certainty is the hope of what will be (1 Peter 1:13).

This is why I am not at home here and now. Indeed we are "aliens" in a foreign land (1Peter 2:10-12).

Suspended: The Role of Tension; part 1

Eschatologically, we are suspended between what was, what is and what is to come.

Inherent in this suspension is tension. What is the nature of this tension? What are its effects on the believer?

This eschatological tension provides a compelling metaphor for the everyday suspense of our journey with Christ. As we walk with Christ we are keenly aware of the constant tug of what we used to be, what we are now, and what we are becoming (our anticipated future).
One way of examining and learning from the stories of the Bible is to observe how people lived while suspended between realities; ethically, morally, physically, politically, economically, etc.

How did the person/people of God handle this tension?

How did their choices provide a clearer foreshadowing of the future reality?

How did they connect/draw upon their past realities?

How did their perception of past and future realities alter their present decisions/attitudes?

Sailing Too Close to the Shore, part 2

You’ve perhaps heard of the movie Donnie Darko. The theme song, Mad World by Gary Jules, talks about easy to reach dreams that can smother us.

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

It is so easy to have small dreams and then die in them.

But, we become spiritually alive when we try new things for God. When we sail farther from the “shore” it gets scary but it is a holy kind of scared.

Sailing a bit farther from the shore is…

• When obedience takes you out of your comfort zone
• When you commit more money to the church beyond what "normal" people would.
• When you confide in your accountability partner about a secret sin.
• When you tell your dad that you love him.
• When you invite neighbors for a cookout.
• When you allow your daughter to bring Christ to a dangerous part of the world.
• When you, once again, give everything over to Jesus; your friends, your health, your future.

Like Francis Drake prayed, we need God to disturb us! We Americans get too comfortable. Comfort kills. Safety is a corrosion of the soul.

Prayer:

Lord, I confess my faithlessness and the smallness that is its fruit. Disturb me, God. Disturb me.”

Added note…

From The E-Myth Revisited. Here's what Michael Gerber had to say:

"The curtain is your Comfort Zone. And your Comfort Zone has been the false mask you put on...because it was safe when your spirit was not. Your Comfort Zone has been the curtain you have placed in front of your face through which you view the world. Your Comfort Zone has been the tight little cozy planet on which you have lived, knowing all the places to hide because it's so small. Your Comfort Zone has seized you before and it can seize you again, when you're least prepared for it, because it knows what it means to you. Because it knows how much you want to be comfortable. Because it knows what price you are willing to pay for the comfort of being in control. The ultimate price, your life... Comfort overtakes us all when we're least prepared for it. Comfort makes cowards of us all."

Sailing Too Close to the Shore, part 1

Okay, I’m going Retro now. Back in the the 60’s a melodic quartet hit the top of the charts with California Dreamin’. The song was written on a cold winter’s day in New York City while The Mamas and the Papas were yearning for California sun.

The first two stanzas of the song goes like this…

All the leaves are brown
And the sky is gray
I've been for a walk
On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.
California dreamin'
On such a winter's day

“To be safe and warm” in Los Angelos would be fun to dream about now as the Iowa temperature is dropping outside.
Our dreams get pretty small compared to God’s dreams for us. We dream about safety and warmth, recreation, comfort and...sunny California.
Now, compare our small dreams to those of Sir Francis Drake who circumnavigated the earth. He is credited with this prayer from 1577: “Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little, when we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.”

Someone said, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.”

Stay tuned for part deux.

Emotional Hurt

I’ve suspected for some time that the emotional blows that hurt the most are those that drive us closest to the truth about ourselves.

Emotionally Mature or Just Spiritually Mature?

Leadership coach Dan Webster says in his Training Course that one cannot be spiritually mature unless one is emotionally mature. In what ways is this true? In what ways is this untrue?

Webster's insight opens a Pandora’s box of issues.

· How can we fulfill our core calling, loving God and loving others, if we are emotionally diminished?

· What does it mean to be emotionally mature?

· If emotional maturity is necessary for spiritual maturity to develop, what hope does a depressed person (or emotionally scarred person) have of becoming spiritually mature?